[Verse 1]
I draw down from the well where it gathers
Time is a river that carries and buries
If you wait for the right time, you'll never be ready
But sometimes every cell in my skin feels too heavy
We all know something's gone wrong
Looking for convenient scapegoats to blame it on
With all the problems that we have to contend with
Why are trans bodies always on the agenda
I'm alive, thirty-five years dying to breathe
Was on my knees, fighting panic at the back of the stage
Looking for salvation in the crowd
Tryna hold it up, but I couldn't hold it down
I was swimming, but the waters were rising
Terrified if I told the truth and stopped hiding
And said what I couldn't bear to say to myself
I would sacrifice everything I'd made for myself
My family, my friends, the people who felt my music, would all leave
It was a belt 'round my neck
It was too big to look at square on, it kept growing
I'd known it forever, but I tried to stop knowing
Thank God, for the multitudes in us
The younger selves that will not give up even when we're inclined to
If you turn your back on the light for too long
The light doesn't die, it just stops trying to find you

[Chorus]
I stand on a line that goes back
That goes back to the dawn of my kind before that
Before that, to the dawn of all time
That extends, that extends
To the end of it all, where it begins again
I stand on the line that goes back
That goes back to the dawn of my kind
Before that
Before that
To the dawn of all time
Going in, going in
To the end where it all begins

[Verse 2]
Up from the rubble now, love is the muscle I train
I walk myself home in the rain
I know it hurts you when they look at you strange
Misgender you intentionally, use your deadname
When they point blank refuse you, call you confusing
Assault you in the street until you're hardly moving
I adore us, I do it all for us
Our warmth is a portal
We're awkward and graceful
The place we are from is eternal
And what we embody is healing and perfect
Resilience
As long as we're getting killed for our differences
We have to keep living, keep living through it
Thirty-seven, going through a second puberty
Out in the limelight like please, nobody look at me
I'm looking for myself, all I'm seeing is the bitterness
Coming my way when I'm using the facilities
And how many strangers will I upset today with my existence
Skip through it I guess, keep resisting
The T's putting hairs on my chest, spots on my chin, my emotions are not what they've been
I'm just trying to cause an effect
When I pause and reflect on the years spent exhausted and wrecked
I just want to go back, put it all on the deck
And say, "Child, just keep going, keep drawing your breath"

[Chorus]
I stand on a line that goes back
That goes back to the dawn of my kind before that
Before that, to the dawn of all time
That extends, that extends
To the end of it all, where it begins again
I stand on the line that goes back
That goes back to the dawn of my kind before that
Before that
To the dawn of all time
Going in, going in
To the end where it all begins

[Verse 1]
Well, either I'm nice on the eye
Or this person that's passing me by has never seen one
Like me before, we endure it
Keep reaching for it, knee deep, we keep pouring
Life force in a formless void, we're too gorgeous
Dwarf the whole street when we walk, are you transported
I cherish the ones who support us
Fear takes from us but love restores us
You are not the sum of the things you do wrong
In the eyes of someone who does not understand you
It's not a disorder or a dysfunction
Disgusting the way they discuss us
But just 'cause a person's not decent to me
Don't mean they're not decent to someone
The norm is not normal: it's a construction
Designed to stifle the inner life and increase production

[Chorus]
They never wanted people like me round here
But when I'm dead, they'll put my statue in the square
They used to tell their children not to stare
But when I'm dead, they'll put my statue in the square
Yeah, they're ten a penny, we're rare
And when we're dead, they'll put our statues in the square
They can shake their heads in despair
But we been here from the start and we ain't going nowhere

[Verse 2]
Spent my life trying to do things your way, normal didn't feel right
Trapped in a shrinking hallway till it got too tight
Deep breath, fresh air when I broke the surface
Yes, we've all lost lovers, what's sad is a lost purpose
Reclaim it, reframe it, rename it, something more fitting
Contain it, champagne it, complaining never did nothing
But hitting the ground running's a start; hold your position
Tape it up, tuck it, and love it beyond condition
Watching the city surrender to rain, I remember to live is to change
I don't pray for the end of my pain, I pray for the strength to weather it
Paused on the brink of a gaping precipice, hesitant, derelict, slow from the sedative
Terrified people never stop asking where the treasure is, I'm like: everything's relative
So don't be surprised when they shield their eyes
What they fear's a reflection of their own minds
They reveal themselves in their dead headlines
It's fine, we don't need permission to shine

[Chorus]
They never wanted people like me round here
But when I'm dead, they'll put my statue in the square
They used to tell their children not to stare
But when I'm dead, they'll put my statue in the square
Yeah, they're ten a penny, we're rare
And when we're dead, they'll put our statues in the square
They can shake their heads in despair
But we been here from the start and we ain't going nowhere

[Intro]
If you saw the younger you, what would you say to them
I would say, "Thanks." I would say "Peace"
I'd tell "Soon child, you're going to find release"

[Verse 1]
Long time coming to right now pipe down lifetime looking for things I thought I'd found already, falling to the floor like I'm alright I'm steady
I send myself back so I can tell me
Twenty years deep in the rhyme of beats and I'm still so far from finding peace
Every line is a ladder I can climb through time and I walk Straight faced through these winding streets
I eat the bread of rhythm I drink the milk of rhyme
I've been carrying a bag of shame that's bigger than me
Dragging it behind me, up an endless staircase, until the day I realised this doesn't mean what I think it does
I don't need to carry this forever, I left it in the clearing by the fire pit and ran
Back to the child I was looking for an elder I saw myself there I took myself by the hand

[Chorus]
When I was young I sought help from my older self I came into my head I told me know yourself
When I was young I sought help from my older self I came into my head I told me know yourself

[Verse 2]
I was seventeen heaven seemed close enough to touch I had never been happier, chest against the barrier
Watching Wu-Tang my own character starting to bloom
I was learning how to capture a room in two phrases
Twenty years deep in the rhymes of beats close my eyes and speak down the wires of time I go back to the child I was when I put myself on the line
I had to beg for the mic, I had to deal with they ignorance, had to get better I wanted bigger things
These days, those days they are far away, try and catch them in my sights but they start to fade
Now I sit amongst crate loads of rhyme books and I think about the days that the time took I thank the little me that put the work in
Could you picture me when you were spitting sixteens
Surfing the top deck penning them bars, underaged in the clubs taking charge of the mic
Precautious little nothing with the world in his sights
I am on it now I will work harder
This is peace to the kid I came after (Peace to the kid I came after)
The words of the bridge between the present and the past I know myself at last

[Chorus]
When I was young I sought help from my older self I came into my head I told me know yourself
When I was young I sought help from my older self I came into my head I told me know yourself

I told me know yourself

[Outro]
Soon child you're going to find release (Soon child you're going to find release)

[Intro]
You, you, you, you, you
And furthermore, you
And another thing, you
I can't believe the sound of my laughter when you're in front of me
I can't believe the peace I feel in your company
When did it happen
Happiness
I thought I knew love, but I never knew this

[Verse 1]
You never break my spirits down
Never make me feel ashamed
You always praise my efforts
Raise my energy
Make an effort to know my friends
I was so lonely for you before we met
But sitting on the bus with the rain on the windows
And your head on my shoulder
You, you, you, you, you
And furthermore me
And another thing, us
You teach me so much
Every day that I wake to the smile on your face
And the feel of your touch

[Chorus]
I never knew
How little I knew until I met you
I never knew
How perfect things were, until I was perfect for you
I never knew
How little I knew until I met you
I never knew
How perfect I was, until I was perfect for you

[Verse 2]
It used to be
I wore my sadness like a heavy coat
Soaked through
It kept me apart from the world
And it was always too tight at my throat
Loneliness
It rained and rained
Until I felt your reaching hand
That's when the sun came out and it shone on us
Like the whole thing had been planned
It's not all roses, no, we got more thorns than most for sure
But you've given me things I never knew I never had before
Thank you, I say to the starlings in the supermarket carpark
Thank you, I say to your empty glass when I hand it back to the bar staff
I never knew it
But I never knew I didn't know it
And now I know it, there's no way back
So let's you, you, you and I
Do this till we die
And love each other till we collapse

[Chorus]
I never knew
How little I knew until I met you
I never knew
How perfect things were, until I was perfect for you
I never knew
How little I knew until I met you
I never knew
How perfect I was, until I was perfect for you

[Outro]
You, you, you, you
Sunshine on Catford
You, you, you, you

[Verse 1]
I cried at the wake of course
I smoked outside the door
And I spoken, choir of circles about a pain nothing could cure
You said "at least she does not suffer anymore"

[Verse 2]
For everyday you couldn't bare, for every night that ran you raw
For all the words you didn't have to name the things you saw
"At least they did not suffer anymore"

[Verse 3]
My anger is useless and impossible to ignore
Is that your shadow in the corner keeping score
Well at least you do not suffer anymore

[Chorus]
Prayers to whisper, drinks to pour
'Cause you have so much left in store
We built a fire we let it roar
'Cause you have so much left in store

[Verse 4]
I saw this stranger in a jacket that you wore
And it hurt me to remember the girl I knew before
But at least you do not suffer anymore

[Verse 5]
Even way back then you were a prisoner of war
Your style's was twisted as the driftwood that washed up on the shore
But at least you do not suffer anymore

[Verse 6]
Jury's out ,decisions split, was it bravery? Was it cowardice
Nobody is sure because we suffer more and more
But we know you don't suffer anymore, I've got

[Chorus]
Prayers to whisper, drinks to pour
'Cause you have so much left in store
We built a fire we let it roar
'Cause you have so much left in store

[Chorus]
Prayers to whisper, drinks to pour
'Cause you have so much left in store
We built a fire we let it roar
'Cause you have so much left in store

[Verse 1]
Me and you and our diagnoses
A perfect match in a bag of explosives
Catch of the day in a toxic ocean
Nothing wrong with us, it's the world that's broken
Two tokens short of the rollercoaster
Ancient conditions
With brand new solutions
In the old days they'd be doing ablutions
I'd be a prophet and you'd be a seer
Or you'd be a healer, I'd be a freak
Run away with the circus
Then we'd meet after work for a barrel of beer, yeah

[Verse 2]
Me and you and our diagnoses
All cosied up but it's hard to focus
Me and you and our trauma flashbacks
Relaxing at home with a hornet's backpack
Stuffed full of my dysphoria
Your dyspraxia, off exploring
Panic attacks to get the heart rate up
Good cardio-vascular, will get back to ya afterwards
Short psychotic episode
If I even leave the house I'll forget to close the door
I'll forget what I went out for
And come back with a random object or four
Quetiapine, lamotrigine, fluoxetine
You'll wash it down with Listerine
I've never felt so at home
Since methylphenidate and testosterone

[Chorus]
C-PTSD, ADHD, OCD and PMDD
Anxious attachment, TBI
But it's the world that's sick, baby, we're alright
C-PTSD, ADHD, anxiety
Bipolar, addiction, neurodivergence
I'd be more worried if we weren't disturbed

[Verse 3]
We got our own alphabet
Big bunch of letters between you and I
It's the right response to a world gone wrong
And we're getting on just fine
Me and you and our diagnoses
Out for a wander with coffee and oatmilk
The posher the roastery, the more you want it
Cause you came from nothing
And you're out for the summit

[Verse 4]
So we go hard but it's softly, softly
And we're so scarred but it's not a problem
There's a lot of good reasons to stop what we're doing
But my disassociation means I've forgotten, hah
I'm overwhelmed and over diagnosed
And overexposed, I suppose
With all these letters we're dragging around
It's lucky I turned that MBE down
We just take it day by day
Staying doesn't mean you never want to run away
It means you weather it
Whether it's pleasure every minute
Or a bit of hard graft, grin hold fast

[Chorus]
C-PTSD, ADHD, OCD and PMDD
Anxious attachment, TBI
It's the world that's sick, baby, we're alright
C-PTSD, ADHD, anxiety
Bipolar, addiction, neurodivergence
I'd be more worried if we weren't disturbed

[Verse 1]
The impact of it still ringing, you dance in the crater it left
All day long I can hear you singing, but you wake in the night I hear you catching your breath
Six months now, you barely slept I wonder how many others are stuck on the same map
Survivors built in the hidden depths, Survivors guilt like an empty trap
Everyday of your life is a victory lap, I'm proud to be running it with you
But when you get lost in flashbacks, I miss you
I'm picking up the slack but my hands are slipping
It was the worst betrayal, resurfacing now that your life is stable
I know you're a soldier, but where do you go when your eyes glaze over

[Chorus]
I wish I could travel through time, find that child, guard her door
I would sit on the floor outside of your room till morning
I wish I could travel through time, find that child, guard her door
I would sit on the floor outside of your room till morning

[Verse 2]
It's not the whole story it's not even the beginning it's just one thread in the tapestry
If you put it in long enough the bigger picture unravels and reveals the travesty
Still we laugh all the time, it's good for the pain
Heart's into climbing this mountain together
Now you're high enough to start enjoying the view but the shadows down below are getting closer every second
Good thing you're as tough as they make em you got it from the people you came from
Remember when you feel that you can't keep hold you're an old soul, gold and you will not fold
Some nights you wait forever, sure you can't take the pressure
When the dark feels like it'll never lift that's when the sky grows pale and the morning lives

[Chorus]
I wish I could travel through time, find that child, guard her door
I would sit on the floor outside of your room till morning
I wish I could travel through time, find that child, guard her door
I would sit on the floor outside of your room till morning

[Verse 3]
One in four is it a surprise how many people in your life have that bitter little of bit of grit stinging in their eyes, but they do grow up and they thrive
It ain't the boogieman or the stranger in the park it's the friend of the family, it's the relative you're staying with
If that's too hard to think of, too dark what about the people who were living everyday with it
When the past is a murky swamp full of shapes that you can't look at square on, keep going
I know what's on your mind when you lose your words you start shrinking through space like you don't deserve to exist
Woo's too wild to tame for what it's worth I understand shame
You kiss mine to dust I just hope I can do the same

[Chorus 2]
Maybe we can travel through time, find that child, guard that door
We can sit on the floor outside her room together
Maybe we can travel through time, find that child, guard that door
We can sit on the floor outside her room together, until morning