[Announcer](Eminem)
This is another public service announcement
Brought to you in part by Slim Shady
(Tell 'em I don't give a fuck)
Slim Shady does not give a fuck what you think
(Tell 'em to suck it)
If you don't like it, you can suck his fucking cock
(Tell 'em they kissed my ass)
Little did you know upon purchasing this album
You have just kissed his ass!
(Tell 'em I'm fed up)
Slim Shady is fed up with your shit
And he's going to kill you
(Yeah)
Uh, anything else
(Yeah, sue me!)

When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more !
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover "
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! {*chainsaw revs up*}
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Chorus: Eminem

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why )
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why )
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you..

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the student body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!"
ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Hahaha, I'm just playin ladies
You know I love you

Chorus: Dido

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background
2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

(I never knew I)
(I never knew I)
Mic check, one, two
(I never knew I)
Who would've knew
(I never knew I)
Who would've known
(I never knew I)
Who the fuck would've thought
(I never knew I)
Motherfucker comes out
(I never knew I)
Sells a couple-a million records
(I never knew I)
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling

I don't do black music, I don't do white music
(Nope)
I make fight music for high school kids
Put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waiting to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth? How
Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around?
Look, I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrants so you can't put your burning furniture out
{Oh my God, oh my God)
I'm sorry there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix-up lyrics while our President gets his dick sucked?
Fuck that! Take drugs! Rape sluts!
Make fun of gay clubs! Men who wear makeup!
Get aware! Wake up! Get a sense of humor!
Quit tryin' to censor music
This is for your kid's amusement
(The kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace
You should've been watching him
Apparently you ain't parents

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringing the guns in this country?
(Hmm!)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week I seen this Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shooting all sorts of motherfuckers with an uzi
I see these three little kids up in the front row
Screaming "Go!" with their 17-year old uncle
I'm like guidance
Ain't they got the same moms and dads?
Who got mad when I asked if they like violence
And told me that my tape got 'em to swear
What about the makeup
You allowed your twelve-year old daughter to wear
(Hmm!)
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
*When this bus driver's screaming at him, fucking him up worse"
(Sit down you little fucking prick)
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade flipping the gym teacher the bird
(Look!)
So read up 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch, and change schools every three months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like
(What )
Fucked up after I beat her fucking ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
If nineteen million motherfuckers grew to be just like me cause

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I, knew I
Have a new house or a new car
Couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth do I
Fuck, shit, ass, bitch, cunt, shoobie-a-doo-wap
(Woops!)
Skee-bee-ba-bee-wop, on Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis whores and hittin' some trees
(Hey!)
How many retards will listen to me
And run in the school shooting when they're pissed at the teacher
Her or him, is it you? Is it him
Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again
Damn, how much damage can you do with a pen
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you would've been
If you would've been in my shoes, who would've thought
Slim Shady would've been something that you would've bought
That would've made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it I didn't know if you did it or not cause

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

How the fuck was I supposed to know

Eminem: Hey!
Steve: Hey, Em, what's up
Eminem: Steve Berman, what's goin' on man
Hoow you doin'? Good to see you again, what's up
Steve: Em, could you come here and have a seat please
Eminem: Umm, yeah, what's
Steve: Vannessa, shut the door
Vaness: Okay
Eminem: So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week
Steve: It would be better if you gave me nothing at all
Eminem: What
Steve: This album is less than nothing
I can't sell this fucking record!
Eminem: What
Steve: Do you know what's happening to me out there
Eminem: Wha-what's the problem
Steve: Violent Ground told me to go fuck myself!
Eminem: Who's Violent-
Steve: Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what it feels like to be told to have a record shoved up your ass
Eminem: But, I-
Steve: I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this
Do you know why Dre's record was so successful?
He's rappin' about big-screen TV's, blunts, 40's and bitches
You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin
Eminem: I mean-
Steve: I can't sell this shit!
Eminem: What
Steve: Either change the record or it's not coming out!
Eminem: What? I-
Steve: Now get the fuck out of my office!
Eminem: What am I supposed
Steve: Now!
Eminem: Alright man

Whatever
Dre just let it run
Ay yo turn the beat up a little bit
Ay yo, this song is for anyone
Fuck it just shut up and listen

Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this - on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feedin' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a motherfuckin thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

(Talking)
May I have your attention please,
may I have your attention please,
will the real slim shady please stand up,
I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up.....we're gonna have a problem here.........

(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor
like pam and tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he "
and Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
he's locked in my bassment
feminist women love eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady,
"I'm sick of him, lookit him
walkin around, grabbin his you know what
flippin' to you know who"
"yeah, but he's so cute though"
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
but cant, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
they got the discovery channel, dont they
we ain't nothing but mammals
well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantelopes
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote
women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes..............

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a grammy
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to britney spears
shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear em argue over who she gave head to first
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only givin you things
you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it (riiip)
I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can
then you wonder how can
kids eat up these albums like valiums
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's
and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin
he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck
with his windows down and his system up
so will the real shady please stand up
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? .................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Talking)
haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up

[RBX]
Remember me? ("Step in, execution")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm 'High Powered'")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")

For this one it's the X, you retarded
Cause I grab the mic and get DOWN, like Syndrome
Hide and roam into the masses, without boundaries
which qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, I leak words that's controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
cause I'll hit yo' ass like the train did that bitch
that got "Banned From TV" -- heavyweight hitter
Hit you watch your whole head split up
Loco-is-the-motion, we comin through
Hollow tips is the lead, the .45 threw

[Sticky Fingaz]
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga 'Bacdafucup'")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")

Niggaz that take no for an answer, get told no
Yeah I been told no but it was more like, "No, no, no!!!"
Life a bitch that'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
this vet is ahead of,
The shit is all redder, you deader and deader
A medic instead-a the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta one metal beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? NOPE! Never leave a shred-of
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches Total
Want beef, nigga? PBBT! You better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably sayin, "He ain't a killer", but I'm killin myself
Smoke death, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggaz in my hood who'd do that shit for a blunt or two
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin wires niggaz wantin me dead, wantin my head
You think it could be somethin I said? {*echoes*}

[Eminem]
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm Shady!")

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin to clear up my fuckin' image,
so I promised the fuckin critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Hailie on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin these crazy thoughts
in my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
("Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on ")
Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window
and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
with M-16's and ten clips each
And them shits reach through six kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets
FUCK THAT! PBBT! Tou faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
and re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin at, nigga )

Don't you remember me !
Remember me !!
Remember me !
REMEMBER ME!!!!

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 4X)

That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back (I'm Back) [SLIM SHADY!] I'm Back

[Eminem]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
Thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox
{"Mom! MOM!"} I used to give a - fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of suc-cess? It sucks, too much press I'm stressed
Too much stares two breasts, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick (no) was raised right
Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say, "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I-
-T-E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'til Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin
You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now

Chorus

[Eminem]
I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
{*vocal scratches*} My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational {*vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"*}
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff on the, internet
Tryin to, lure your kids with him, into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
"Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, fried to get so frenetic
whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
with my windows tinted, with nine limos rented
Doin lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented {*inhales, exhales*}
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

Chorus

[Eminem]
I take seven [kids] from [Columbine], stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
a Mack-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
and that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time
Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
as the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing
Am I the only one who realizes they stink
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cause all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name

Chorus

[Eminem {*vocal scratching*}]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi mom!)
{*scratch*} Guess who's back
{*scratch*} Gue {*scratch*} guess who's back
D-12 {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr. Dre {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Back back {*scratch*} back
{*scratch*}
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (*sighs*) fuck

You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everyone wants to come around like I owe 'em something
What the fuck you want from me
Ten million dollars!
Get the fuck outta here!

You see I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know why
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)

Yo, you might see me joggin'
You might see me walkin'
You might see me walkin' a dead Rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
Hollering at him cause the son of a bitch wont quit barking
Or leaning out a window with a cocked shotgun
Driving up the block in the car that they shot Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressin' ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and Pac just missed all this
Watchin' all these cheap imitations get rich off em
And get dollars that should've been theirs like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Cris poppin and wrist watches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
And walk around with a empty bottle of Remi Martin
Starting shit like some 26 year old skinny Cartman
(God Damn It!)
I'm anti Backstreet and Ricky Martin
Its instincts to kill N Sync don't get me started
These fucking brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded
Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
(He-he!)
Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent
Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate
Ass whoopin' and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken

New kids on the block suck a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
I'mma love it
(Ha-ha-ha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me
(Uh-uh)
He said some shit in Vibe to spite me
(Yep!)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me
(Heh-heh)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
And run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me"
(Na-na)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little four-year old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo root beer
And call them selves clowns cause they look queer
Faggots who don't but silent gay
Claimin' Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle I'll knock you fuckin' faggots the fuck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck, plow
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you ain't seen a fuckin' mile road South of 10
And I don't need help from D-12
To beat up two females in make up
Who may try to scratch me with Lee nails
Slim Anus! You damn right Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy
I'll knock you out if you talk about me
(Talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
If you assholes doubt me
(Assholes doubt me)
And if wanna run your mouth
Then come and take your best shot at me
(Best shot at me)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me
You little groupie bitch get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
With this fucked up head that I've got I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
Oh, he just did some shit with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with Emcee Get Busy
My fuckin' bitch mom suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealing
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers
It doesn't matter - faggot
Talkin about how I fabricated my past
She's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass
So tell me what the hell is a fella to do
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fighting and fussin'
Over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden I got 90 some cousins
(Hey it's me!)
A half brother and sister who never see me
Or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to set foot in my girlfriend's house
(Hey!)
And then to top it off I walk to the newsstand
And buy this cheap ass magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page flipped right fast
And what do I see? A picture of my big white ass!
Ok, lemme give you motherfuckers some help
Uh here Double XL, Double XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Aww fuck it I'll even buy a couple myself

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)

Uh, oh yeah
Oh, suck it
Oh, fuck you
Oh, Shaggy
Oh, this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh, fuck you
Oh, take it out, take it out
Oh, now give something to Jay
Oh, violent Jay
Wait don't bite it
Don't be violent with it now just suck it
Nice and slow, yeah
Oh, oh fuck yeah
You got oh
Now give it back to Shagy
He was sucking it better
Oh, now say my name
(Eminem)
Say my name
(Eminem)
WHAT
Oh fuck you guys
Give me my dick back
Fuck you guys
If you want Eminem you can have Eminem
Fuck you guys I'm leaving
(Ken no!)
(Ken wait, oh damn)
(Nice going Shaggy)

*laugher
Ooh shit (ooh, hey, ooh)
Guess what
I ain't coming in yet,
I'll come in in a minute
Ayo, this is my love song
It goes like this

Back when Mark Wallburg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix in with Bacardi Dark
And when it kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the sixth gin you gon' probably crawl
And you'll be sick then and you'll probably barf
And my prediction is you gon' probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinnin'
You're beginning to think women are swimmin in pink linen
Again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guinness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wildin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyein' you
Get in the car and start it and start drivin
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile up

Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Looking for life on this planet sir, no sign of it
All i could see is a bunch of smoke flyin
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place I'm outta place
I'm in in outter space, I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me

In third grade all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
Seventeen years later I'm as rude as you
Schemein on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I got no game and every face looks the same
They got no name so i don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want, to whoever I want
Whenever i want, wherever I want, however I want
However I do show some respect to few
This ecstacy has got me standin next to you
Gettin sentimental as fuck, spillin' guts to you
We just met but I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too so you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "Yo what the fuck we do "
I gotta go bitch, you know I got stuff to do
Cause if I get caught cheatin then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run these drugs are probably gonna catch up sooner or later
But fuck it I'm on one so let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal chord,
So it's not a straight line no more
So we walk around lookin' like some windup dolls
Shit stickin' out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now I'm gonna try to find some more

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all
Wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow your probably gonna wanna do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend, screw it
And whats a little bit of alcohol poisoning
And whats a little fight
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life live it however you wanna
Marajuana is everywhere, where was you brought up
It don't matter as long as you get where you're goin'
Cause none of this shit's gonna mean shit where we're goin
They tell you to stop but you just sit there ignorin'
Even though you wake up feelin' like shit every morning
But your young you got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw, parties to crash, sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now I wouldn't
I would've did more shit that people said that I shouldnt
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded
And graduated to better drugs and updated
But I still gotta a lot of growin' up to do
I still gotta whole lot of throwin' up to spew
But when it's all said and done before I know it
I'll be forty with a forty on the porch tellin stories
With a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap
Babysitting for Hailey, while Hailey's out gettin shmashed

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me

Drugs really got a hold on me
Really got a hold on me
Cause drugs really got a hold on me
They really got a hold on me

(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da
(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm..
(kill kill kill)

Chorus: Eminem

Mentally illll from Amityvilllle (ILLLL)
Accidentally killll your family stillll
Thinkin he won't? God-damnit he willll (HE'SSSS)
Mentally illll from Amityvilllle

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spin til I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick {*SMACK*}
Pen full of ink, think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of splashed whiskers {*whoosh*}
Hash whiskey and ash til I slap bitches {*smack*}
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past six years
Mash with me you'll get in imagine this

Chorus 2X

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
{*AHHHHHHHH!*} Guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope
My little sister's birthday, she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity
{*Mmm mm mmm!*} And bitches know me as a horny-ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped, I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwin up in the urinal (YOU FUCKIN HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just havin a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfuckin Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here ? (huh )
While I'm holdin a pistol with this many calibres here ? (here )
Plus some registration that just made this shit valid this year? (year )
Cause once I snap I can't be held accountable for my actions
That's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets come at your house
and collapse the foundation around you and they found you
and your family in it (AHHHHH!)
GOT DAMNIT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

Chorus 2X

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum..

[Snoop](Dr. Dre)
(Yeah, what up Detroit )
Nah-uh, nah-uh uh-uh oh no he didn't
They didn't do it again
Wha-what? What?
You shit on these niggas two times Dr. Dre
(Oh fa'sure)
Uh-uh no
You smell dat
This is special right here
Wha-what? Wha-what? What
It's a toast to the boogie baby
To tha boogie oogie-oogie
Yeah ya know
What's cracking Dre

[Dr. Dre]
Jus let me lay back and kick some mo' simplistic pimp shit
On Slim's shit, start riots like Limp Bizkit
(Limp Bizkit!)
Throw on Guilty Conscience at concerts
And watch mosh pits till motherfuckers knock each other unconscious
(That's right nigga)
Some of these crowds that Slim draws
Is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard when it's packed and full of cars
Some of these crowds me and Snoop draw
Is niggas from Crenshaw, from Long Beach to South Central
(Whoa!)
*Girl screams
Not these niggas again, these grown ass ignorant men
With hand triggers again (Shit)
You and what army, could harm me
D-R-E and Shady with Doggy from Long Beach
(Snoop, Eastside)
We came a long way to making these songs play
It a be a wrong move to stare at me tha wrong way
I got a long uz- and I carry it all day
Sometimes it's like a nightmare, just being An-dre
But I...

[Snoop Dogg]
Somehow someway
Hello nigga!
You know about Doggy, Snoop Dogg
Now let me cut these niggas up
And show 'em where tha fuck I'm comin' from
I get tha party crackin' with the shit that I be spittin son
Hit and run, get it done, get the funds, split and run
Got about 50 guns, and I love all of 'em the same
Bang! Bang!
Damn baby girl what's yo name
I forgot, what'd you say it was?
Damn a nigga buzzed
(Fucked up)
Hangin' in tha club wit my nephew Eminem
(What's up Slim )
What up cuz?
(What's up Snoop )
The great white American hope
Done hooked up with the king of the muthafuckin' West Coast baby

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
I'm the head nigga in charge
I'm watching you move
You're found dead in your garage
With 10 o'clock news coverage
Gotta love it cause I expose tha fasciad
Your little lungs is too small to hot box with God
All jokes aside come bounce wit us
Standing over you with a 12 gauge about to bust
It's like ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I might leave in a body bag but never in cuffs
So who do you trust, they just not rugged enough
When things get rough I'm in tha club shooting with Puff
*Gunshots
Bitch please, you must have a mental disease
Assume tha position and get back down on your knees come on
*Gunshots

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Eminem](Snoop)
Ah no, Big Slim Dogg, 80 pound balls
(What )
Dick six inch long
(Huh )
Back up in tha heesy baby
He's Shady!
(He's so crazy!)
Give me tha mic, let me recite to Timothy White
Pickets outside the Interscope offices every night
What if he's right
I'm just a criminal making a livin' off the world's misery
What in the world gives me the right
To say what I like and walk around flippin' the bird
Livin' tha urban life like a white kid from the 'burbs
Dreamin at night and screamin' at moms schemin' to leave
Run away from home and grow to be as evil as me
I just want you all to notice me and people to see
That somewhere deep down is a decent human being in me
It just can't be found so the reason you've been seeing this me
Is cause this is me now, the recent dude is being this mean
So when you see me dressin' up like a nerd on TV
Or heard tha CD using tha fag word so freely
It's just me being me, here want me to tone it down
Suck my fuckin' dick ya faggot!
You happy now? Look here!
I start some trouble everywhere that I go
Ask tha bouncers in the club cause they know
I start some shit they throw me out the back do'
Come back and shoot the club up wit a fo-four

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
2001 and forever
Slim Shady, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, the X to the Z, Nate Dogg
Come on yeah

[Eminem]
Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you
Sit down bitch
If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you

[Eminem](Eminem as Kim)
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you
How could you
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim
Am I too loud for you
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this )
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Haley alone, what if she wakes up )
We'll be right back
Well I will you'll be in the trunk

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you
You loved him didn't you
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me
Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me
You think I'm ugly don't you
(It's not that!)
No you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

Come on get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out bitch!
(Let go of my hair, please don't do this baby)
(Please I love you, look we can just take Haley and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey remember the time we went to Brian's party
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it
(Yes!)
See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adams apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son just woke up and he just walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've...HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself
Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you
You were supposed to love me
*Kim choking
NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!
BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

[Eminem]
*talkin' gibberish*
Translation
Son, you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick

Two pills I pop 'til my pupils swell up like 2 pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties
A young ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass
Little raps can't shoot thru his glass pants
I'm like a monkey at night, fightin' with bright lightning
Frightened with 5 little white Vicodan pills bitin' him
I'm like a fuckin' wasp in the hospital lost
Stingin' the fuck outta everything I come across in the halls
I'll light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife with a blade, and stab you with the fuckin' handle
So when you find yourself wrapped up in the blinds, hurtin'
It's just too late, cuz what you hung from the drapes is curtains

[Swifty McBay]
I'm an instigator, 380 slug penetrator
Degrading, creating murders to kill haters
Accused for every crime known thru the equator
They knew I did it, for havin' blood on my gators
My weed'll hit your chest like a double barrel gauge
I'm a black grenade that'll blow up in your face
Wit a fifth in me, when I guzzle Remi, I do shit on purpose
You never hear me say "forgive me"
I'm snatchin' every penny
It gotta be that way nigga, face it
That weed I sold to you brigade pasted
You high and I make the president get a face lift
Niggas just afraid, handin' me they bracelets
Chillin' in the lab, wasted
I'm the type that'll drink Kahlua and gin - throw up on the mic
Your life is ruined, you get socked right on site
And even at the Million Man March, we gon' fight

[Eminem]
Son, you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick
Cuz I don't give a fuck if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick

[Bizarre]
I'm a compulsive liar, set my preacher on fire
Slash your tires, find Dom, Finkel and Mya
Plates expired, soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin' my dick off in the bed, a barb wire
(Hey, is Bizarre performing )
Bitch, can't you read the flyer
? 'bout a guest, would be Richard Pryor
(Aren't you a male dancer )
Nah bitch, I'm retired
Fuckin' your bitch in the ass with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin' the record skip
Lettin' the record skip
Lettin' the record skip
(Damn!)
*DJ scratches*
I'm fuckin' anything when I'm snortin'
It's gonna cost 300 dollars to get my Pit Bull an abortion
Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a horse, spit beer in her face and laughed
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches is hoes, even my stinkin' ass mom

[Caniver]
Ay-yo, flashback, 2 feets
Too deep up in that ass crack
We ain't laced with somethin', nigga pass that
And after that, we only hang out with hash rats
Had to stop the violence loudly, I blast gats
Be your momma publishin', get your ass capped
The Caniver, divide up your cash stack
Raid your mothafuckin' pockets, ass half
I don't need a platinum chain bitch, I snatch Shaq's
Born loser, half theif and half black
Bring your boys and your guns and get laughed at
Bitch smacked, a rich rapper get a Jag jack
And found chopped up in a trash bag

[Dirty Harry]
Stranglin' rappers to the point they can't yell
Cuz they true as ? fags, sweeter than bake sales
Reckless, come from behind and snatch your necklace
Gruesome, and causin' more violence than 9 hoodlums
I grapple your adam's apple until it crackle
Run right past you, turn around, grab you and stab you
Get executed, cuz I'm a looney
I got a yuck mouth and it's polluted
I cock it back then shoot it
I love snatchin' up playas, thugs and young ballas
Shoot up the household, even the young potnas
Brigade, lyricate to bring the noise
While the bloods break your bones up like Christmas toys
If I go solo, I'm doin' a song with Polo
A big Chinese nigga, screamin' ? yo yo
I leave ya face leakin'
Run up in church and smack the preacher while he's preachin'
Take a swing at the deacon

[The Con Artist]
I used to tell cats I sold weed and weight
I was straight until I got caught sellin' em shaped
I'm ignorant, with the intent to snatch your rent
I got kicked out of summer camp for havin' sex in my tent
With the superintendent's daughter, my brain's out of order
I've been a con artist since I was swimmin' in water
In cahoots with this nigga named Fall Out Von
Who got fired from UPS for tryin' to send you a bomb (special delivery)
I signed to a local label for fun
Say I got cancer, get dropped an advancement and run
Ride by you in the rain while you carry your son
Call your house and hang up on you for not givin' me none
Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun
Got a reputation for havin' niggas run up they funds
Used to be the type of nigga that was full of someone's
'Til I met your fat mama, now I'm rollin' in dough

[Eminem]
Son, you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick
Cuz I don't give a fuck if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when I wrote this, so suck my dick

[Eminem - Outro]
Suck my motherfuckin' dick
D-12
Dirty motherfuckin' Dozen
Assed you like a stank slut bitch with 30 fuckin' husbands
Bizarre kid
Swifty McBay
The Con Artist
The Caniver
Dirty Harry
Haha, and Slim Shady

[Intro]
A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions
A lot of people think that what I say on record
Or what I talk about on a record
That I actually do in real life, or that I believe in it
Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody, that
I'm actually gonna do it, or that I believe in it
Well shit, if you believe that, then I'll kill you
You know why

Cuz I'm a criminal
Criminal
(You goddamn right)
I'm a criminal
Yeah, I'm a criminal

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
And I'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or les
A homosex, hermaph, or a transeves
Pants address, hey fags, the answer's yes
Homophobic
Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin' in my jeans, watchin' my genetiles bulgin'
That's my mothafuckin' balls, you better let go of 'em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get ahold of 'em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me
And I was just checkin' the mail
Get it, checkin' the male
How many records you expectin' to sell
After your second LP sends you directly to jail
Come on, relax cat
I like gay men, right Ken
Give me an Amen
"Amen!"
Please Lord, it's born ease Jesus
Hear us child, help us destroy these demons
Uh, please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute, while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher, preacher, 5th grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing
Cuz I watch TV and Tomcat's cable
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards
And to think, it's just lil' ol' me
Mr. 'don't give a fuck' still won't leave
I'm a...

I'm a criminal
Cuz everytime I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal
I don't gotta say a word
I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
I don't take shit from no one


I'm a criminal
Cuz everytime I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal
I don't gotta say a word
I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
I don't take shit from no one

The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed
The baby came out disfigured, ligaments in need
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cuz that baby was me
I'm a criminal
An animal caged to turn crazed
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker
Then you'd wanna fuck me after sayin' a word
My morals went *pft* when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
From his own employee, now don't ignore me
You won't avoid me, you can't miss me
I'm white, blonde hair, and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
In plane crashes, and laughs, as long as it ain't happen to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined
(The maniac sent) In place of the doctor
Cuz Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place
Oh, that's Dre, with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should kept that thing put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with an A
I'm a criminal!

[Dre] (Eminem)
Alright look (uh-huh)
Just go up in that mothafucka
Get the mothafuckin' money and get the fuck up outta there
(Alright)
I'll be right here waitin' on you
(Alright)
Yo Em!
(What !)
Don't kill nobody this time!
(Alright!)
(Goddamn, this mothafucka gets on my fuckin' nerves)

[Eminem] (Bank teller)
(Hi) How you doin'
(How can I help you )
Yeah, I need to make a withdrawl
(Okay)
Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch
And I won't kill you
(Oh my God, don't kill me)
I'm not gonna kill you bitch
Quit lookin' around
(Don't kill me, I've got 2 kids at home, don't kill me)
I told you I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you
Hurry the fuck up!
*gun shot*
THANK YOU!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for 5 minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die bitches
Passed this scratched 'Vette
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You mothafuckin' chickens ain't brave enough
To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I'll make it as
I'mma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask

I'm a criminal
Cuz everytime I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal
I don't gotta say a word
I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
I don't take shit from no one
(repeat x 4)